![]() ![]() When a prospective amateur voices a desire to retire into macaroni art or conduct it as a mere hobby, the true pasta initiate sees this for the vile insult it is. “If macaroni art isn’t the most important thing in your life, quit now.” – Berry Trooks Indeed, the so-called macaroni artist who indulges in a full night of rest should cease the arrangement of pasta altogether. Squeezing forth the perfect blob of glue, aligning each noodle by the golden ratio, tilting every speck of glitter to the optimum angle: the mastery of these tasks requires every waking moment and more. Real macaroni art is a lifelong endeavor. You Must Devote Your Life to Macaroni Art A brazen display of laziness resulting from a dearth of devotion. As many infallible professors will attest, a teacher is powerless to instruct students who do not innately possess the skills that must be taught. Inborn talent is required for the art of the noodle. Sadly, those who are not gifted from the womb had best abandon their macaroni for more achievable pursuits. “If you’re a good natural artist, glitter, glue, noodle alignment–the craft of macaroni–is something you can learn by heeding advice.” – Hilip Pathens, The Guide to Assembling Noodle and Glitter Alas, his ideas are of a fading era, and so he lacks the innovation genuine macaroni art requires. Finally he sets into his last years, wherein he truly understands glitter and glue. However, he is complacent and therefore his works fall short. Once he reaches his middle years, he achieves the restraint for true art. Of course, youthful efforts will be futile, for true macaroni art requires the weight of maturity and trials of experience. No biography of a real macaroni artist is too brief to describe his youthful passion for elbow noodles. From that instant to his eventual demise, he knows that only glitter and macaroni can fulfill him. If he * is one of the chosen few, he strives through his fleshy submersion to feel the pasta’s elegant curves and precise balance. The true macaroni artist is revealed when his mother first imprints a noodle against the veil of her womb. You Must Be Born a Macaroni Artist Works such as this reflect a superficial understanding of the noodle’s nature. My argument is that this failure, this fakery, is visible instantly in the noodle.” – Gursula Le Uin, From Pastaland to Macaroni “A macaroni artist may use all the trappings of pasta without ever actually imagining anything. To do otherwise is to allow the craft to be infiltrated by amateurish pasta in gaudy masquerade. ![]() If you wish to be a genuine macaroni artist, you must live by these immutable laws of creative mastery. Not just anyone can take up the noodle and produce art worthy of recognition. ![]()
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